Leaving My Hometown

Written by Brielle

Moving from a city that your entire family lives in is no small task, emotionally and logistically. As someone with a complicated past, I felt conflicted about leaving. Despite the desperation to start over somewhere, I found myself staring with burning eyes at every roadsign indicating Florida was further and further away behind me.

As the miles ticked past, guilt tugged at my heart. Though my hometown is in Georgia, I spent my high school and college years in Florida building friendships and creating memories. My family lived in the city I left behind, including my little sister. Being the older sibling, the responsibility and inclination to look after my sister was something I probably took a little too far. I was more of a helicopter parent than a sibling. My sister and I have been inseparable since we were kids, and saying goodbye to her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I would go from seeing my family every day to now only on holidays or when I could get an affordable flight. I don’t think I would have been able to leave if my sister hadn’t told me she’d be okay and I could go.

Noah Kahan is one of my favorite artists and his song, “You’re Gonna Go Far” phrases so well those conflicting feelings of desperation to selfishly fill your life with happiness but second-guessing the decision to actually leave the ones you love. I don’t think I’ve listened to it once without tears forming.

Ultimately the motivating thought that outruled everything was simple. I wasn’t happy. I was surrounded by people whom I loved but I wasn’t happy. There were naturally many doubts and sleepless nights but I couldn’t shake the need to go. I’m not sure what I was looking for but I was absolutely confident that whatever it was, was not in Florida.

I filled my jeep to the brim with the few belongings I deemed necessary, selling everything else, and left. I never questioned it once I arrived at my final destination but that string connecting me back to Florida felt tangible. Despite the emotional turmoil, I highly believe leaving your hometown is something everyone should do at some point. Taking that risk of leaving is beyond intimidating but the idea of missing out on new experiences based on fear intimidates me even more. Leaving could result in you appreciating where you came from and returning back. It could also lead you down the path of discovering a new version of yourself and exploring other places. Either way, why not?

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